Determinism and Disability

Human behavior can be understood through a framework similar to basic equations. For example, 2 + 2 will always equal 4, and 2 + 2 + 2 will always equal 6. In the same way, humans follow predictable patterns of response to given situations. Scientifically, it has been demonstrated that the body and mind react to a “choice” before we consciously realize we are making one. This suggests that what we perceive as “choices” are actually reactions, which we later justify through rationalization.

In other words, we do not truly “make choices” in the conscious sense. Instead, we respond based on the information, resources, and circumstances available in the moment. After the response, our minds create a narrative to explain why we did what we did, giving the illusion of free will.

This means that if the “situational equation” remains unchanged, a person will always respond the same way. The only way a different response can occur is by introducing new information or altering their perception of the situation. However, this requires self-awareness and the ability to pause and reflect before reacting. For most, this gap between stimulus and response is incredibly narrow and often invisible, making change difficult.

The Nature of Change

It is critical to understand that people do not inherently “choose” to be the way they are. Change does not come from willpower alone. A person cannot change the self by sheer force of will any more than they can taste their own tongue or lift themselves by their bootstraps.

What enables change is the introduction of new factors; new information, tools, or perspectives, that shift the equation. For instance, in therapy, this might involve learning strategies to reframe negative thought patterns or developing practical coping mechanisms. In education, it could be providing tailored support, like assistive technology or personalized teaching methods. In personal development, this might look like gaining insights from books, mentors, or life experiences that challenge preconceived notions. These factors act as catalysts, enabling individuals to see beyond their current limitations and adopt new approaches. This external input creates an opportunity for the individual to observe their own responses and possibly reframe their perception of the situation, leading to different outcomes. Without such input, the individual will continue to act in alignment with their existing framework of understanding and resources.

Mental and Physical Limitations

This framework also applies to understanding mental and physical illnesses or disabilities. Mental illnesses like ADHD, PTSD, autism, or borderline personality disorder (BPD) are no different in principle from physical disabilities. A person who is paralyzed cannot climb a tree, no matter how much you explain the mechanics of climbing, encourage them, or even demand that they “try harder.” They simply lack the physical ability to do so without external tools, assistance, or intervention.

Similarly, a person with mental illness cannot “just try harder” to overcome their limitations. They may deeply want to succeed in the way others expect; to meet deadlines, regulate emotions, or maintain focus; there is often an unbridgeable gap between their desire and their ability to act. For someone with ADHD, for instance, the brain’s executive function is impaired, making it impossible to “just focus” despite their intentions.

When society fails to recognize this, it leads to a kind of cruelty. Telling someone with a mental illness to “try harder” is no different than telling a paralyzed person to “just climb the tree.” Society often overlooks this parallel, expecting effort alone to overcome profound barriers. By failing to recognize the structural and neurological realities individuals face, such expectations perpetuate misunderstanding and harm. The inability to perceive this parallel does not make the expectation any less harmful.

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

After reflecting on the past few years, I’ve come to realize that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. If someone could do things differently, they would. We act within the limits of our understanding, resources, and abilities; no more, no less. Even those of us aware of our limitations tend to normalize our level of functionality, often at the lowest point we’re willing to accept. This creates a benchmark by which we judge others: “If I can do it, so can they.”

Yet, when this judgment is reversed; when someone more capable holds us to their standard, we often become defensive. We know we are doing our best, even if it looks inadequate from the outside. To justify our actions, we make ourselves the heroes of our own stories, the benchmarks of effort and morality. Nobody wants to be the villain, even though, in some way, we all are.

True empathy requires letting go of this self-centered perspective. It demands that we acknowledge others are also doing their best, even when their limitations exceed our own. Instead of expecting empathy while denying the limitations of those who surpass us, we must be willing to say, “I see you. You’re doing the best you can, just as I am.”

I am as guilty of this as anyone, and I recognize that now. The best I can do is own it and strive to extend the same grace to others that I hope to receive myself.

Key Takeaways

1. Behavior is determined by situational factors: People act based on the information, resources, and circumstances available to them in the moment, all of which are shaped by their environment and culture. Different environments provide varying levels of access to resources and influence how people perceive their circumstances, which in turn determines their responses.

2. Choices are reactions: What we perceive as conscious choices are actually automatic responses that are later rationalized.

3. Change requires new inputs: To act differently, a person must encounter new information or tools that alter their perception or expand their capabilities.

4. Mental illness and disability are comparable: Just as a physical disability prevents certain actions, mental illnesses create real, physiological barriers to behavior.

5. Support must be appropriate: Encouragement without understanding; such as demanding effort without offering tools or accommodations, is ineffective and can be cruel.

By embracing these principles, we can foster greater empathy and provide meaningful support to those who face physical or mental limitations. Everyone operates within the constraints of their own situational equation. Real change can only occur when the right resources and understanding are available; whether provided by society, individuals, or a combination of both.